Real Life Memento

After all the fanfare of last nights’ inaugural blog entry, I’m back, hard at work, providing valuable content to my throngs of readers out there in cyberspace. Its interesting for me to consider what people blog about. I guess every blog has certain guidelines as to what is important enough to be published publicly. I guess everyone has their own filtering system, albeit some people’s systems are rather bizarre.

For some their blog filter basically consisted of cryptic, passive aggressive rants that were meant to draw attention and/or ire from a random host of individuals (I’m thinking bored, repressed adolescents gone wild on their xangas). Some filters are pretty specific like delicious foods that they’ve eaten. Or in more recent years, there has been a huge rise of blogs on TV, blogs on politics… and now religion and theology! Their filter is pretty clear. But I also can’t tell you how many blogs who’s filter could be described by two words: “random musings.” That doesn’t tell me anything, your musings are probably not random, you’re just too lazy to describe your filter as it truly is. (Somebody kick me if I ever use the term “random musings”… even tho I probably will)

I’m wondering what should my filter consist of? I wouldn’t want this blog to just to be about ministry or just about faith. I want the blog to be about the totality of things I experience… and certainly faith and ministry should be a core part. So I think to myself, maybe my filter should be broad… how about: things that I like in life big or small? That sounds like a good one initially, but it also poses some new problems.

You see, its 1:10 AM and I’m just about ready to go to bed after a long, mildly-productive day. I’ve just adopted my new-found filter: “Things I like in life big or small.” And so in preparation for this entree, I’m playing back the details of my life this past day trying to identify the things that happened today that i liked… and you know what? Its all fuzzy! Recalling the details of my day is pretty taxing. What I ate for each meal. Waiting for the el. Talking to the receptionist. Using the bathroom. A lot of it comes back to me, but I have to work for it.

When your sitting in bed getting ready to go to bed, what do you think to yourself? Do you have moments at night when you wonder to yourself what on earth did I do today?

When people ask me casually, “How are you? How’s your day? How are you doing?” I never stop and actually think literally how my day is going, what events has transpired. Even when I am seriously trying to entertain that question, that’s just not how my mind works. I just give a knee jerk response that expresses my emotional state. I feel like a runaway freight train motoring through life.

In that way I guess I kind of feel like Leonard Shelby in Memento… I wonder how much of my daily existence just dissolves into nothing because my memory is so fallible. I wonder how many beautiful experiences simply fade away or dilute before my very eyes. Carl Jung would diagnose me as an extroverted feeling psychological type which is all well and good and shows that not everyone is as crazy as I am.

I guess this blog is a good start. I’m forced to actually do the hard work of filtering my life and trying to put it out in an at least somewhat coherent, readable format… even tho what you get to read are the verbose ramblings whereby this confused extrovert somehow arrives at insight. So kudos to you if you’ve gotten this far and hope that you’ve gotten at least a fraction of the value your favorite extrovert has gotten from writing this entry.
Thanks, Jesus, for a great day.

Wow, those were some random musings.

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