The Art of Eating Costco Samples

A rear approach allows for longer response time and less polite banter.

I have perfected the art of taking Costo freebies, especially if its your 4th or 5th round. Here are the 6 easy steps of having a Costco-subsidized meal of free samples:

Step 1, the approach: Pretend that you are aimlessly meandering toward the stand. Look around casually as if you are not utterly fixated on those warm bagel bites.

Step 2: Act very surprised upon making eye contact with the stand. Potential exclamation: “Wow! What have we here today?”

Step 3: If they give a shpeel, pretend to listen intently. Do not lick lips or groan in hunger.

Step 4: After they are done, slowly grab a morsel. IMPORTANT: no matter how tasty the frozen enchilada is, do not display visible pleasure. That will free you up to take another one as if you wanted to “assess the product a second time.”

Step 5: Ask how much it is. Responded with furrowed brow as if you are considering buying it. Asking them where one could find the product will steal their gaze so that you can quickly steal another sample.

Step 6, the exit: Thank them and quickly be on your way. Make sure to leave as soon as possible. You want to be as forgettable as possible so that when you return in 10 minutes, they will not recognize you.


One thought on “The Art of Eating Costco Samples

  1. haha! i totally look disinterested and ask what the price is with a furrowed brow. then i mumble a thank you and walk away.

    thanks for so systematically laying this out. i’ll have to try this next time.

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